Inanimate Objects R Us (with bonus body parts... that sounds way more disturbing than it should)

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

After recently reading Off the Wall by sonadorita (in which the guys get turned into walls, McShep) I started to miss all the awesome, often crack-filled fics in which some or all of the team are either turned into inanimate objects, or AUs in which they just are those.

For example, there's thighholster's comic The Story of Why Ronon Is Super Awesome (AU, McShep), in which Rodney is a cup, John is gun, Teyla is a skirt and Ronon is a gun. There's also The Epic Tale of Rodney & John, Two Girl Scout Cookies in Love [The Pix or it Didn't Happen Remix] by bitter_crimson, (AU pic-fic, McShep) in which John and Rodney are Girl Scout cookies, and rhymer23's ongoing pic-fic series The Long Road Home in which John and a Wraith (OMC George) are action figures.

I know I listed mostly comic or pic-fics, but pure text stories are also more than wanted (these were just easier for me to track down at a short notice).

---

As a bonus, if anyone knows any guys/team-as-body-parts stories other than Puppetry of the Person by soraya2004 (in which, sometimes, John and Rodney can be dicks; McShep) I'd appreciate those as well.

Comments

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

There's thighholster's You Only Ever Lose One (http://thighholster.livejournal.com/1252.html) in which they are socks (Rodney/Katie, John/Nancy, John/Rodney).

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

\o/ I loved that one, but couldn't find it again no matter how I looked. Thanks!

[clpm-9.livejournal.com]

there is this one Love Among the Inanimate by liketheriver http://community.livejournal.com/sga_flashfic/686688.html#cutid1

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

ZOMG, Scenario 2, "Enlightenment" my favest! Thanks!

Flower Power

[starbeamsbright.livejournal.com]

This isn't exactly what you're asking for, but it may be close enough to fit.

"Life In Full Bloom" by Lavvyan
http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/60354.html

In which John and Rodney are *flowers*. It's wonderfully cracky (and the smut is disturbingly hot), but there is also spot-on characterization.

Re: Flower Power

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you. :)

Re: Flower Power

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Didn't this 'verse have its own comm? ...Sheesh, it would serve me right if it was on my flist and can't remember its name.

Re: Flower Power

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Yup. greenhouse_au. *g*

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Of course it is. *facepalm* Thanks. I will attempt to friend it again, in hopes that my doing so might actually provoke more stuff to magically appear there. You never know, it might work... *innocent face*

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Wow. That was reeeeeaaally subtle. *awed*

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

*puts away the clue-by-four* You think so? I thought pouting would've been an overkill... not like I didn't try to re-friend that comm half a dozen times already... *hands you suitcases to go with the guilt trip*

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Heh. You know, I'm pretty immune to subtle. ;p

Re: Flower Power

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Thanks anyways; I didn't link it, but I'm happy to obligatorily re-read now that it's been recced. ;-) I love the whole Greenhouse Verse (http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/tag/greenhouse+au).

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

You might want to check out the team_sga April Fool's Day AU CrackFest. There were some good ones in general, but I'm remembering the one where they were Hostess Cupcakes and the like (http://community.livejournal.com/team_sga/16254.html?thread=182398#t182398). :)

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten about those - I only read a handful of those fics, so you get double thanks for reminding me and for pointing out a cupcake!AU. Yay!

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Also:

A Frank Exchange of Views"> by slybrarian in which they are space ships (http://community.livejournal.com/sga_flashfic/595523.html)

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Wheeeeee! *twirls you* I haven't read that one. Yet. *eyes the clock varily* Oh, who needs sleep anyway.

[trish51.livejournal.com]

Also by Lavvyan is The Eternally Unnamed in which, and I kid you not, Shepard is ketchup and McKay is a pea. Lavvyan (all blessings be upon her) is wandering perilously near the edge.

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

*nods understandingly* And we will keep her supplied in dried frog pills, was it? until the very end, and beyond. Thanks for reminder; the love of a pea and ketchup is the most epic OTP of all, of course.

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Links: The Eternally Unnamed (http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/86149.html) and its Timestamp Meme: Five Minutes Later (http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/105803.html?thread=2525515#t2525515) with additional crack in that comment thread.

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Actually, there's already comment crack (http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/86149.html?thread=1921925#t1921925) in the first story. _inbetween_ is bad influence. ;)

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

...I should've known I was missing out on something. Also, _inbetween_ is totally perverted. *admires*

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

This is where I really need to point out that the ketchup/pea thing wasn't my idea.

That's not to say the edge and I aren't very close friends. Very, very close.

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

I *love* both those stories, and I loved "Delight" too; thanks for mentioning them.

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Ohmygosh, I have clicked on the delete thread by accident, and deleted your perfectly good post! I am *so* sorry, honestly! I didn't mean to. Wish I could un-delete it, but according to lj FAQ, I can't. You're welcome to repost, if you wanted. Again, many many apologies.

[tatsumaki.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, that's okay. I'll repost for posterity.

A Big Delight in Every Bite (http://community.livejournal.com/team_sga/16254.html?thread=182398#t182398) by entwashian; G, team gen. The one where they're Hostess snack cakes.

But Where Would They Live (http://thingswithwings.livejournal.com/18384.html) and The Dreams That You Dare to Dream (Or, But What Would the Children Look Like?) (http://thingswithwings.livejournal.com/18862.html) by thingswithwings; John/Rodney, Teyla/Ronon. John and Ronon are inanimate objects, but Rodney and Teyla aren't.

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

You're very kind; after the day I've had, I might even love you for it.

So, the gingerbread fic might have been found: That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles (http://community.livejournal.com/sga_flashfic/230640.html) by permetaform - is that it? I haven't read it (yet), so I can't be the judge.

[tatsumaki.livejournal.com]

Oh, I somehow missed this comment! Sorry about that!

Yes, that's it! Thank you, that's excellent!

Hmm, apparently everything in this comment is very important! That's the only way I can explain all of these exclamation marks!

bros before quelle chose

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe a melior. McKShepp:

in Potentia (rated Mmm for MPREPREG)
Zygote by kassrachel.livejournal.com
http://kass.dreamwidth.org/739051.html

in Terchangeable (rated Arrrr for A ROOT IN THE BOOT)
The Future Mrs McKaytoe Head by villainny.livejournal.com
http://community.livejournal.com/mcsmooch/104822.html

Re: bros before quelle chose

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Thanks!