Mental illness and distant John

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Hello everyone,

I come to you all again for any help towards finding stories in a few of genres.

1. Any stories where John has some form of mental illness or issue. I've checked the illness tag but I couldn't find anything about John, although there is lots of broken Rodney. John can be coping fine, or struggling, it can be something new that develops, or it can be an ongoing issue and I don't mind whether it's common knowledge or not. I'd prefer if everyone else is fine, but I'll still be happy with everyone is slightly off kilter stories.

2. Any stories where there is a focus point of John being quite distanced from everyone else, just generally removed from the others somehow, basically stories where he holds himself apart, for whatever reason. I don't mind it is noticed and fixed by the team, or where it is just accepted as something he is, or if it's more of a character study kind of story.

3. Just general character study like stories about John's oddness, because he is a fascinating character! Anything you can give me!

Preferably McShep, or gen please, although as long as the pairing isn't overt I can mostly read anything except John/Elizabeth and John/Teyla, unless you think it is really incredible.

Thank you very much for all your help, I really appreciate it.

Comments

[admiralandrea.livejournal.com]

I'm currently reading the Two-Body Problem series by bomberqueen17, which I think fits the type of thing you're looking for. It's McShep.

http://archiveofourown.org/series/60759

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I will check it out!

[3am-moonlight.livejournal.com]

Twice Shy (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4165145/1/Twice_Shy)
Summary: John has issues, psychological disorders suck. Spoilers from Outcast to Trio.

Forty Years and Eight Pounds (The Skin Hunger Variations) (http://archiveofourown.org/works/193415)
Summary: John finds what he's been waiting for when Teyla places it on his chest, warm and heavy and smelling of milk. Or: Six people John never told, and four he didn't need to tell.

The World, and now the Universe (http://mayachain.livejournal.com/30631.html)
Summary: John rarely lets anyone touch him, but it's different during movie nights with his team.

The two latter stories may or may not fit your criteria.

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the suggestions. Even if they don't fit it entirely, I generally love reading new stories, so thank you regardless.

[sholio]

For #1, you might enjoy Beatae Memoriae; it's a long fic in which John has a severe mental breakdown of sorts. (Gen)

Going back through my older bookmarks in search of that one, I came across It's Always Autumn in the Old Trees of Despair, which is quite dark and involves John separated from his team. The author of that fic, Kodiak Bear Country, writes a lot of John-focused fic which is at her ff.net page. Another formerly-on-ff.net author who writes a ton of John fics is Stealth Dragon, aka kriadydragon; her ff.net page is here and she's also got a list of her fic (not recently updated) in a sticky on her LJ. Her fics tend towards somewhat hardcore h/c, which may not be your cup of tea, but if you want John being basically turned inside out, there are tons of that sort of thing. :D (She writes gen.)

My own fic tends to have a lot of John in it, although I'm not sure how much of it would fit what you're looking for ... I guess I'll just link you to my entire fic page. (Most of them aren't up on AO3 yet, although I am slowwwwwly accomplishing this.) Some specific fics of mine which might be kind of similar to what you're after - A Clear and Different Light (McShep with lots of team) and Long Road Home (gen) are both fairly long AUs with John being isolated for various AU-ish reasons. Three Kinds of Men and Monster Slayer are gen character studies of John. The Pegasus Galaxy School of Massage is a team fic in which Ronon goes on a massage kick and John is very weird about it because of touch issues, although the first 2/3 or so of the fic is basically Ronon and everyone but John (because of the aforementioned touch issues) and John doesn't come into it much until the last few scenes.

I may have more for you later if I can find them, because there was a LOT of Sheppard character-study fic when the fandom was young, but that was a number of years ago now, and I'm not quite sure if I can easily find most of it. Another author I can think of that you might want to check out is Auburn - here is her page - she used to write lots of long McShep or gen fic which often revolved around themes of John's isolation and trust issues. She has a particular style and writes lots of h/c, so that may not be entirely your cup of tea. (Er, I keep reccing h/c because I read a lot of it. XD)

.... oh, and I just remembered Your Cowboy Days are Over, which goes AU as of the end of season two (it was written during the season 2-3 hiatus, I think) and is basically a long John character study, in which John is dealing with a ton of issues as a result of STUFF. It's mostly gen with a slight John/OFC pairing in the middle.

I hope some of these will help you find things to read. :)

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, thank you very much! There is lots to read here, I'm looking forward to it. Thank you again.

[busaikko]

Sometimes I feel like 90% of what I write is about John's oddness, but I'm not quite sure how much fits your request. A few self-suggestions, all McShep:

Able to Fly: Magical AU (with Stargates). Magic AU where John's the ghost of a murdered child, haunting Rodney's comic book.

The Number of a Man: John's badly injured and put in stasis; deals with recovery, PTSD, and grief.

Bridges: modern non-Stargate AU. John's still having trouble dealing with trauma from his past.

And one that's long-jossed (military brat!Sheppard's childhood and upbringing), Five Four Three Two One (Zero).

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the links. That is the thing about John, his oddness is kind of a common theme in a lot of stories, but anything dealing specifically with the emotionally distanced thing as a central part of the story is hard to find because it's so rare. Strangely, the closest I have got to it is when I come across stories when John is sociopathic, even if it isn't quite what I want. John with mental health issues is practically non-existent!
Thanks again!

[busaikko]

I think part of that is because for all the crap he's been through in canon (killing Sumner, mutating, nearly dying, losing friends and family), he always remains in control; in one sense, he has to, because to suffer to a debilitating degree from mental health issues would be to lose his position. It's harder to imagine writing him with something like severe PTSD and still realistically being Atlantis' military commander. Sociopathic John is generally very competent (and not so far removed from canon... at least, S1 canon).

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

I have to admit I never thought of it like that, you make a very good point. With PTSD it would be a problem, although I could see something like bipolar disorder being able to fit into canon, if say, he was on a controlled medication regime, along with a few others that I can see him utilising rather than being limited by them per se.
The competence that he shows in the sociopath fics are a major reason why I love them I think.

I have a habit of liking rare tropes though(I like ancient!John fics and there aren't many of those), so I've come to accept an element of disappointment, and it makes me wish writing was a talent I had.

[phyllis-stine.livejournal.com]

http://archiveofourown.org/series/14285 I'm working my way thru the Gifts series by Leah (Taste_is_Sweet), springwoof and Squeaky, I'm enjoying these McShep fics featuring a John who holds himself very distant, physically and emotionally.

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Brilliant, thank you very much!

[julia-here.livejournal.com]

In Bluflamingo's Dysfunction Series (http://archiveofourown.org/series/55504) John Sheppard ismaintaining none too well and finally breaks and starts to heal. Long, mostly Flyboy with other slash pairings.

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm looking forward to reading it.

[afg1.livejournal.com]

I've always liked this one https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3151681/1/Of-Coloring-Books-and-Lt-Colonels (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3151681/1/Of-Coloring-Books-and-Lt-Colonels)

[elleipsis.livejournal.com]

Thank you :-)