sgarecfinders | Oh nononononono, my inanimate friend! (Reply)

I just re-watched Grace Under Pressure, and I was struck by this part that I had forgotten about. Early in the episode, Rodney argues with the jumper, like so:

"Oh come on! A little heat's gonna cost me forty minutes?! Is that really how you want this to go down, huh? You wanna freeze me to death? You sure you wouldn't rather I imploded with you, ya- ya lemon! Do you even have an opinion anyways you- you- no! Why? Because you are an inanimate object! Does that stop me from talking to you? OH nononono, my inanimate friend, because I have been struck upon the head, you see?!"

Which made me love Rodney even more because I talk to inanimate objects all the time.

My request is this: Are there any fics where Rodney talks to, yells at, cajoles, or bargains with inanimate objects?

Secondary request: Are there any fics where any character (Zelenka, Sheppard, Lorne, Parrish, anybody) talks to inanimate objects?

I realize this is an oddly general yet obscure request, so I'd be shocked and grateful if this turns up any responses. :)